The first stem is noticing. What do you notice in this moment? To get practice with this skill, stop reading for a moment when you reach the end of this paragraph, and look around at your surroundings. What do you see? Check in with your body. What sensations are you aware of? As you do this, notice your breathing. Now you have a basic experience of what it is like to be present. Can you feel a wave of relaxation come over a wave of relaxation come over you as you become awate of your breathing? Allow yourself to really connect with this sensory impression. What would it take to transfer this experience to a social situation? Maybe all you need to do is tune in to your bodily sensations and breathe. For many, that's all it takes.

Now imagine yourself in a roomful of people - at a party, a meeting, or a lecture hall. Imagine that you are standing or sitting next to someone you would like to meet. Now imagine paying attention to your bodily sensations as you notice your thoughts. Imagine speaking out loud about something you see, something you feel, or something you are thinking. Here are some examples:

"I'm noticing that I'm feeling warm. Are you feeling warm too, or is it just me?" "I notice you're wearing blue. I think it looks really nice with your blue eyes." "I notice I'm getting hungry. Would you like to get out of here and get something to eat?"

Starting a conversation based on present-time noticing is a good way to keep yourself from becoming nervous. Remember, you don't have to be scintillating or entertaining. Just be simple, direct, and present. And remember to breathe.